I am officially at the I-don't-think-I-can-do-this stage.
I still have 50 pages to write minimum, and finalize this by the end of the weekend.
My boss is being an ass, decided he wants to look at the dissertation today, but I'm not done. So let's see if I can write those 50 pages by tomorrow morning.
The manuscript won't be done by the time I defend, all of a sudden the entire thing needs to be reworked and rewritten. And Kiwi doesn't have time to do it before then. We told my committee it would be submitted. I just think he doesn't want to take time to look at it now.
I still haven't looked for a job.
I find myself thinking of sleep more and more.
Realized today that the student before me got away with using very large font and double spacing the reference section.
This whole process isn't worth it, there's more to life than this. Feel like I wasted 6 years of my life.
Recipe: Mix a pinch of sleep, some anxiety, and a lot stress. Bake in front of a committee for 2 hours. Get one serving of fried me.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
girl, I feel your pain!
ReplyDeleteIf your manuscript isn't going to be done before you defend, I think you should put off the defense. I have been in this situation (or as close as I can get in NZ) and it's harrowing. It's better to take a little more time and really be satisfied with your thesis before you defend.
ReplyDeleteYou do need a brief break, even if it's just a weekend.
Cheer up! It's STILL almost over.
I feel like I wasted the last 6 years of my life, too. I know that feeling very well.
ReplyDeleteBut trust me, the thesis does not matter. Nobody will ever read it again after you graduate, except maybe you. It just has to be good enough to get you the degree.
What really matters? The manuscript matters. If nothing else, it is a public record of what you did. And if you want to work in this business again, you need it if you want to get funding (which you'll have to do) or a job, even in industry.
If Kiwi won't look at the paper, get someone else. Other lab members, a nice postdoc, someone from your committee.
Pepper Kiwi with revised versions. Eventually he will get the message that you are continually improving it and he is sitting around on his duff doing nothing.
Another thing that has been suggested to me, and works on occasion, are food/alcohol bribes.
It sucks but if it works, at least the paper got submitted.