New Title

I'm trying to setup a new blog page and I'm slightly annoyed that blogger won't let me use the same title. They don't allow enough characters. Now I have to think up a new name. Grr.

Update: Okay, I've decided that a new stage in my life requires a new blog title.  This is going to take some thought.

Habits

Getting back into the habit of blogging is more difficult than I thought. Something will happen, and I think "I need to blog about this" but it never happens. I miss it, I need to redevelop the habit.

To blog or not to blog

I haven't written in a long time. Mostly because my life has been changing its focus since graduation. I have a new job. One that I love. My dilemma is whether I should continue this blog or start a new one with a new focus. Or change the name of this one. Or not do one at all. I have a personal blog which I post to for my family to keep them updated on my life. However, there are things I still want to talk about that I would rather do anonymously, which is why I think I still want to do this. I'm just not too sure how I would focus my new blog. Or maybe it won't have a focus. Just RBOC and it will evolve on its own. You see, I'm still a scientist at heart. But I switch gears for now, moving into the social sciences, not so much biological but some. And I'm in a more administrative role now while I'm learning the new field. I'll probably never do bench work again. Which I don't miss at all and never will - at least not enough to do it again.

One thing is constant - I'm still in academia.

I know this post is rambling but that's the flow of my thoughts right now. I might just keep this going until I decide what to do. I almost feel like this new stage in my life calls for a new start.

My cover's been blown (kinda)

I received a rather unexpected phone call today. Apparently, using a fairly common search term that would bring up thousands and thousands and thousands of websites, a professor of mine from grad school stumbled upon my blog. He read it for a while when it finally dawned on him he knew who I was. It was the Kiwi. The good news is I don't care. He is a pretty cool professor and I don't mind what he reads. In fact, the only reason I think he was able to figure it out was that I confided in him about some of the conflicts I had with the Kiwi. And Loverboy. So once he read the posts it wasn't too hard to put two and two together. I know I can trust him. He's just learned one way in which I learned to cope with the situation.

I just hope no one else figures it out. But I don't think they will because only people I trust know how things actually were in that place.

UPDATE: OK, now I know never to make assumptions. I actually typed in the search term, which should has produced countless hits. It's a very common term. But apparently, it only brings up 441. Still a lot. The problem is, mine is 4th one listed on the first page. Darn it.

I am free

After I graduated last August I found myself in a situation that I've never been in before. When I graduated high school I went on to college, when I earned my BS I went on to graduate school. Throughout all that time I was employed, ready to move on to the next job when one was over. All of my life I have known what I was going to do next before I finished what I was doing. When people ask how I felt after I successfully defended, finished the revisions, and completed all the paperwork, the first word that comes to me is "free." I feel free, in more ways than one. So much runs through my mind when I say that word. It is more than a word.

I am free from the enslavement, degrading treatment, and humiliation of the past several years working for the Kiwi.

I am free to choose whatever path I want to take.

I am free to leave a job if I don't like it, I am no longer stuck.

I am free to move on with my life and find happiness again.

I am free to move forward in my relationship with Fiance.

I am free to enjoy my new close relationship with my sister.

I am free to enjoy life, my life.

I am free.

Not sure what to say

I've been gone a really long time. So much has happened. I've been trying to prioritize things in my life, so I put blogging on hold for a while. I have always had a procrastination problem and everything has been so chaotic for so long, that I needed to hold off on blogging while I dealt with more important things. Not to say blogging isn't important, it's a healthy way to vent and talk to others who are going through or have gone through the same experiences as I have. However, I had to defend, edit and finalize my dissertation, look for a job, write my manuscript, among other personal goals. Now I feel that I can gradually get back into writing. Honestly, I miss it. And I miss reading everyone's blogs. It's going to take me a while to catch up. Hopefully I haven't completely lost my blogging friends because it has been so long. Part of the problem has also been reliable computer access, as I can only write at home for now. But next week my new desktop should arrive. My current one lasted 8 years but it can't handle all the new software coming out. And little-by-little it seems to be dying. The same with my 5-year old laptop.

Enough rambling, eventually everyone will catch up with what I'm doing and I'll catch up with them (you). I even contemplated starting a new blog at this new time in my life but didn't want to let this one go. No matter what I end up doing, I'll always be "female scientist."