Time for a Change

I've been contemplating the future of my blog.  Over the past few years it has been my "therapy," a way to deal with the stressers that came with being a doctoral student in a laboratory and other everyday things.  After successfully defending over a year ago I stopped writing on any consistent basis.  You see, I was out of that horrible laboratory environment and my situation had changed.  I didn't have a great need to vent, which was the primary purpose of this blog.  I needed to get the emotions and frustrations out in a non-destructive manner.  And having (usually) sympathetic ears made me feel like I wasn't alone in my circumstances.  I'm in a much better place now.  People who see me don't even have to ask how I'm doing.  It's evident on my face. They tell me I look so much "happier."  And these are people who didn't know all the details of my advisor situation.

After several months navigating academia and life outside of the laboratory setting, now as a "professional" and not just a graduate student, (and please know that the "just a graduate student" doesn't reflect my personal veiwpoint but the overruling viewpoint of those already in academia.) I have decided that I want to keep blogging.  I enjoy sharing my stories, good and bad.  Whether a lot of people follow my blog isn't my concern, my goal is to express myself in a relatively uncensored way.  Though I admit, part of my decision has to do with the fact that most of my friends have move away while I stayed in the same area.  I no longer have all of the face-to-face outlets I used to.  I have some, just not necessarily easy-access friends.

So I'm starting the new year with a fresh start, a new blog.  I feel like I'm leaving a good, faithful friend but I also feel that this is necessary because I know it's going to have a different tone than this one.  There will still be venting, but given the changes in my life and attitude, my writing will reflect these differences.  A new stage in my life, I feel, justifies a new start on my writing.

So if you want to follow me, I'm still a woman in academia just not in a laboratory setting.  I love science and I love doing science.  I will continue my life journey on my new site.  Comments from this one will stll go to m email, so if you'd like to find my new location please leave a comment and I'll send you the link.

I hope to see you there.

Thanks - Image Goddess

New Title

I'm trying to setup a new blog page and I'm slightly annoyed that blogger won't let me use the same title. They don't allow enough characters. Now I have to think up a new name. Grr.

Update: Okay, I've decided that a new stage in my life requires a new blog title.  This is going to take some thought.

Habits

Getting back into the habit of blogging is more difficult than I thought. Something will happen, and I think "I need to blog about this" but it never happens. I miss it, I need to redevelop the habit.

To blog or not to blog

I haven't written in a long time. Mostly because my life has been changing its focus since graduation. I have a new job. One that I love. My dilemma is whether I should continue this blog or start a new one with a new focus. Or change the name of this one. Or not do one at all. I have a personal blog which I post to for my family to keep them updated on my life. However, there are things I still want to talk about that I would rather do anonymously, which is why I think I still want to do this. I'm just not too sure how I would focus my new blog. Or maybe it won't have a focus. Just RBOC and it will evolve on its own. You see, I'm still a scientist at heart. But I switch gears for now, moving into the social sciences, not so much biological but some. And I'm in a more administrative role now while I'm learning the new field. I'll probably never do bench work again. Which I don't miss at all and never will - at least not enough to do it again.

One thing is constant - I'm still in academia.

I know this post is rambling but that's the flow of my thoughts right now. I might just keep this going until I decide what to do. I almost feel like this new stage in my life calls for a new start.

My cover's been blown (kinda)

I received a rather unexpected phone call today. Apparently, using a fairly common search term that would bring up thousands and thousands and thousands of websites, a professor of mine from grad school stumbled upon my blog. He read it for a while when it finally dawned on him he knew who I was. It was the Kiwi. The good news is I don't care. He is a pretty cool professor and I don't mind what he reads. In fact, the only reason I think he was able to figure it out was that I confided in him about some of the conflicts I had with the Kiwi. And Loverboy. So once he read the posts it wasn't too hard to put two and two together. I know I can trust him. He's just learned one way in which I learned to cope with the situation.

I just hope no one else figures it out. But I don't think they will because only people I trust know how things actually were in that place.

UPDATE: OK, now I know never to make assumptions. I actually typed in the search term, which should has produced countless hits. It's a very common term. But apparently, it only brings up 441. Still a lot. The problem is, mine is 4th one listed on the first page. Darn it.

I am free

After I graduated last August I found myself in a situation that I've never been in before. When I graduated high school I went on to college, when I earned my BS I went on to graduate school. Throughout all that time I was employed, ready to move on to the next job when one was over. All of my life I have known what I was going to do next before I finished what I was doing. When people ask how I felt after I successfully defended, finished the revisions, and completed all the paperwork, the first word that comes to me is "free." I feel free, in more ways than one. So much runs through my mind when I say that word. It is more than a word.

I am free from the enslavement, degrading treatment, and humiliation of the past several years working for the Kiwi.

I am free to choose whatever path I want to take.

I am free to leave a job if I don't like it, I am no longer stuck.

I am free to move on with my life and find happiness again.

I am free to move forward in my relationship with Fiance.

I am free to enjoy my new close relationship with my sister.

I am free to enjoy life, my life.

I am free.

Not sure what to say

I've been gone a really long time. So much has happened. I've been trying to prioritize things in my life, so I put blogging on hold for a while. I have always had a procrastination problem and everything has been so chaotic for so long, that I needed to hold off on blogging while I dealt with more important things. Not to say blogging isn't important, it's a healthy way to vent and talk to others who are going through or have gone through the same experiences as I have. However, I had to defend, edit and finalize my dissertation, look for a job, write my manuscript, among other personal goals. Now I feel that I can gradually get back into writing. Honestly, I miss it. And I miss reading everyone's blogs. It's going to take me a while to catch up. Hopefully I haven't completely lost my blogging friends because it has been so long. Part of the problem has also been reliable computer access, as I can only write at home for now. But next week my new desktop should arrive. My current one lasted 8 years but it can't handle all the new software coming out. And little-by-little it seems to be dying. The same with my 5-year old laptop.

Enough rambling, eventually everyone will catch up with what I'm doing and I'll catch up with them (you). I even contemplated starting a new blog at this new time in my life but didn't want to let this one go. No matter what I end up doing, I'll always be "female scientist."

Controlling my nerves

I don't think I've ever been this nervous in my life. And I'm not defending until tomorrow. My heart has been racing and my hands are shaking. I know I shouldn't be this nervous. But I can't seem to control it.

Showing my boss my presentation

Kiwi was out of the country all last week at a conference. Today was his first day back and we met to go over my presentation for my defense Thursday. The reality of the whole thing started to get to me today. I was actually sick to my stomach this morning. No matter what everyone around here tells me, I know it isn't a "formality" with my committee. They have been so unpredictable thus far I'm not sure what's going to happen. I feel like I'm starting to accept the fact that I might not pass.

When we sat down today, the first thing I asked him was if he looked at my dissertation at all. Nope, of course not - but to be honest I wasn't that surprised. He gave his usual list of excuses, but this time he actually said he wanted to finish working on LB's manuscript to have it submitted by the end of the week. That really pissed me off. What about my manuscript! I'm the one with no publications, I'm the one with the dissertation defense coming up with a committee that's demanding a publication, I'm the one who's no longer working in the lab. He's such an ass. It just shows how low I am on his list of job priorities. Well, he's going to have to explain to my committee why it hasn't been submitted yet. He's had it for a couple months now and we told the committee it would be submitted by the end of April or early May. It's out of my hands.

Anyway, I digress. I went through the presentation. He actually had some useful comments that I'll incorporate into the presentation. He felt I needed more background information. I already have 47 slides and now I'll be adding several more. After this advice, he proceeds to tell me my presentation will have a lot of background but is weak/light on data so I should add some things that aren't in the dissertation write-up. Then he left the meeting say how good the presentation was looking and it should be good. Talk about mixed messages.

So will he get a chance to read the dissertation before my defense? Probably not. He told me he probably already knows most of what's in it. (This after he saw data in the presentation, was surprised, and said how good that would be to add to the manuscript that he's never looked at.) I reminded him I made changes based on early suggestions, and he's never actually looked at an entire chapter. So I asked him to look over that one, short chapter and the overall discussion and let me know if there is anything I shouldn't have said, or misstated, or anything that might come up that I should be prepared for my committee to target. He said OK. That means no.

I can't wait to get this done. Whether I pass or not, it will be over and I can move on with my life.

Those several other things

In the last post I mentioned there were several other things I have to do along with preparing my defense presentation. They have to do with the other job I took. (in addition for looking for a permanent job after that!). I currently have a new partial GSR in a different Center. It is a place I'm extremely interested in for a future job. I met with the Director to show him my work and what kind of things I was interested in, and to talk about a postdoc position they might have in the fall. He's also a person in a position to hear about jobs in the field I'm interested in, which I probably wouldn't find out about on my own. Well, in the course of the meeting he made the comment that it was too bad I was on another GSR because he could really use some help on an Institute he was working on. I told him that actually, my funding had ended in my PI's lab at the end of May so I actually was available. He hired me on the spot. And I love it there!! The people are wonderful and he's great. I actually was describing the position to my Mom and became choked up. I know the situation I've been in for the past several years has been horrible, but on the other hand I kind of got used to it. Now that I'm being treated like an actual human being it really shines the light on how horrible the past several years have been. I can't even describe how this new job makes me feel.

But along with it came more work, hence the other things I have to work on. It kind of increased in magnitude over the past couple weeks. First I was helping with the curriculum. Then I was helping with the lectures, then he wanted me to teach a lecture. Now he has decided that the entire Institute class will be web cast and recorded. So I have several things I need to finish for next week before class starts and my lecture on Wednesday. Teaching for him and working for him is a big deal and I don't want to mess it up. He knows a lot of people and is an amazing person to have on my resume as a recommendation, especially in the field I want to go into.

I just need to balance my time. I'm probably going to focus completely on the Institute until after Wednesday then shift over to my dissertation. It's too bad I'm only working for him until the end of July. I really love it there. It makes me want to not settle for just anything now that I'm going to be done, but get something that I enjoy, even though right now all I need is a job, any job to bring in money.

Turned in at last

I just turned in my written dissertation to all my committee members. Boy, does it feel good. And not that I'm complaining, but Kiwi never even looked at it. I gave him another copy Monday after I received a snarky comment from him about "no feedback for two weeks." Excuse me?! I do believe you were supposed to be giving me feedback! He asked me if I thought it was okay. Of course I think it is okay, well, at least good enough. He actually asked me if I had any questions for him or if I needed anything from him. Gee, it's a little late for that considering I had to give it to my committee members within the next 2 hours. I told him if he could at least read the entire thing before my defense and let me know if there is anything he thinks I should be prepared to defend or even modify that I would appreciate it.

At least it's turned it!! Now I can focus on the presentation (among several other things).

I know I've said this before

But really this time, back to blogging. I lost the spirit for a while. So many frustrations that I just didn't want to talk about it. But I feel that it's time again. I miss my blogging friends!

The changes a couple months can make. First some updates. Kiwi decided if I needed more time that I could (should) turn my dissertation write-up to my committee one week before the defense, even though they were required to have two weeks. Needless to say, it didn't happen and due to a committee member complaining he didn't have two weeks Kiwi gave in. Really, there wasn't much he could say. The rest of the committee members didn't care. They could care in the least. Kiwi wasn't happy but oh well, he isn't paying me.

So how does it stand right now? Essentially, my dissertation write-up is finished, and has been for at least a month. I gave it to Kiwi a few weeks ago but he hasn't had time to look at it OR my manuscript. In fact, he doesn't have time for my defense until the end of July. He can't manage to fit 2 hrs into his oh-so-busy schedule. He sucks. It was just a bunch of stupid excuses. Everything on his schedule is waayyy more important than my defense.

However, all is not bad. I managed to convince the appropriate people from my department that since my boss doesn't have time for me until the end of July, which is not my fault, that they need to cover my health insurance until then. They agreed. The good thing about this is that in order to qualify for health insurance they need to give me 1/4 GSR. So I get a small paycheck. Very small, but it's something. In addition, in a position which I'm going to dedicate an entire post, I have a new GSR in a different department. So I'm getting health insurance and 1/4 paycheck from my degree department and the rest of a GSR paycheck from another. Since Kiwi and the Center won't pay me, I just found someone who would. And it's something I enjoy.

So right now, everything is okay, not great, but okay. I'm just looking for job, and preparing myself for my defense, on July 31st!! Oh, and I haven't seen the Kiwi for weeks, just email correspondence. And that's not for lack of trying, he just ignores every single email in which I ask for a meeting.

I called my boss irrational

After much deliberation (which including talking to mom, Geeka, and fiance) I finally faced the reality that there was no way in heck I was going to have my dissertation written by Monday. I felt much better. However, I still had to talk to my boss. The first thing I did was call the person in the department in charge of the students. He was completely supportive, said it was no big deal. It happens more often than not. Don't rush it if I need more time to write. If anyone gives me problems, have them talk to him. I shot an email out to Kiwi telling him I had to meet with him Friday and we decided 8:45 before his day started. He had a meeting at 9:30. I spent all evening and morning thinking about what I was going to say and how I was going to say it. After interacting with his craziness for 6 years I thought I knew how he was going to react. He'd be pissed, complain and whine, insult me, but ultimately say it was my decision and it's between me and my committee, he wouldn't want a part in it.

I thought wrong. He is much crazier than I thought he was - and that's saying a lot.

This was the rational that I would use:

1 - I have been working non-stop but the reality is that 1 1/2 months is not enough time to write a dissertation from scratch. Without a manuscript to start from.
2 - I understand I will not get a stipend after May. He won't pay me. I'll deal with it because it's my decision.
3 - The committee won't care, all they want is a manuscript which had to at least be submitted by the time I defend, which it isn't. It's been on Kiwi's desk for weeks.
4 - It serves no one to turn in something that isn't done; it is a waste of every one's time.
5 - It will not affect him at all since he won't be paying me. I just have to write and schedule a meeting.

It's hard to even describe how the meeting went. He asked how it was going. I said not that great. And told him I finally faced the reality that it wouldn't be done by Monday. We argued for the next 20 minutes. Through the course of the argument I reiterated several times what I mentioned above. Here are some of his comments.

"I will not even entertain the idea."

"I recommend you don't pursue it."

"As far as I'm concerned your dissertation is on the 19th."

And the best one "I'll be there on the 19th for your defense whether you are there or not."

He had the look of a petulant child throwing a tantrum, like he's going to do it whether I like it or not.

Then he proceeded to compare me to a student who had rescheduled several times and was there 9-10 years. I just interrupted him, told him that isn't even a fair comparison. The difference is my work is done, all I'm doing is writing, and I'm pushing to leave. She wasn't.

I must say it was wonderful to call him irrational to his face, and ridiculous. I'm just glad I've developed self-control over the past few years with him. There was A LOT worse running through my head.

Finally, he said turn it in next Friday instead of Monday - which I should be able to do. But I never actually verbally agreed to it. Then I asked him why in the last email he sent me he said the manuscript had to be completely reworked. We went through it, he's only scanned it so far. I asked him if he looked at the part of the dissertation discussion I sent him a couple days ago. He hadn't. I made him open it and go over it with me. I made him 1/2 hour late for his meeting. I don't care. If he was going to be such an ass, he was going to give me CONSTRUCTIVE feedback on what I sent him.

Grrrrr.... I went and vented to Geeka. We calm each other and prevent the other from harming people.

Of all the scenarios I ran through my head that was not one of them. And at the end of the meeting he had to sign the GSR letter stating I will get paid the month of May. He looked at it - "What's this," "What does it say?" and proceeded to read it. It is the same letter he has signed for every student since before I was there - every semester. Like I was hiding something in it!

He's gone next Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday so I scheduled a meeting with him Thursday morning.

I can't wait to get the hell out of here. Oh - I told him that too. If he thought I was making the decision lightly about rescheduling I wasn't, I want to be out of here and get this done more than anyone. I want to move on with my life.

Dissertation RBOC

I am officially at the I-don't-think-I-can-do-this stage.

I still have 50 pages to write minimum, and finalize this by the end of the weekend.

My boss is being an ass, decided he wants to look at the dissertation today, but I'm not done. So let's see if I can write those 50 pages by tomorrow morning.

The manuscript won't be done by the time I defend, all of a sudden the entire thing needs to be reworked and rewritten. And Kiwi doesn't have time to do it before then. We told my committee it would be submitted. I just think he doesn't want to take time to look at it now.

I still haven't looked for a job.

I find myself thinking of sleep more and more.

Realized today that the student before me got away with using very large font and double spacing the reference section.

This whole process isn't worth it, there's more to life than this. Feel like I wasted 6 years of my life.

Recipe: Mix a pinch of sleep, some anxiety, and a lot stress. Bake in front of a committee for 2 hours. Get one serving of fried me.

It finally feels real

After 5 meetings with individual committee members, countless emails and phone calls, and lots of paperwork . . . . . . ready?? . . . . . tah-dah!! . . . a defense date!! May 19th, 3pm.

I can finally move on with my life. Woooo-hooooo!!!!
It comes with excitement and a wonderful sense of peace.

Best way to format my dissertation ??

I thought I knew how I was going to put my dissertation together. Not anymore. I had a meeting with Kiwi on Friday and he seems to have changed his mind, but he hasn't convinced me yet that this is the best plan. So over the past 6 years my project has been rather all-over-the-board. Every committee meeting my third aim changed. That wouldn't be so bad but I've spent months and months (years) going in various directions, only to have either hit dead ends, or was stopped by Kiwi before I could finish a series of experiments. Thus, I have a lot of experiments (i.e., series of experiments) that were never finished.

I also have nopublication. Kiwi decided a long time ago he wanted my entire dissertation in one manuscript. I tried to change his mind several times but never succeeded. Now he has put me a hard situation. We are writing this manuscript and are leaving several pieces out as 'data not shown." Here's the tricky part, I want to show the DNS in my dissertation. I also have to divide my dissertation into chapters. The standard is to use publications as chapters, which kind of follow your aims. Well, I will have one manuscript which contains ALL of my aims. I can't just have one chapter. So we decided that we were going to break up the manuscript into three chapters, following my three aims and include everything we left out. Sounded good to me! But he's had a change of heart. Now he wants me to focus on my manuscript because of the committee, insert it as Chapter 1, which will encompass all my aims, add the DNS in the appendix, and "make-up" a fourth aim. Yes, you heard me right. That is why I'm here on a Sunday, instead of working comfortably from my apartment. I'm pouring through 5-6 years worth of lab work, a lot of which was never finished, trying to come up with a 4th aim. I was venting to FD and we both agree this is a colossal waste of my time. Kiwi said he hears me say how I've done a lot of work so why not include it in a fourth aim, which yeah, I have, but he's stopped most of it. Now my 'homework' for the weekend is to see if I can make my experiments that were 'not publishable' and didn't work as 'we wanted' fit coherently into another aim. And he said I'll have to figure out some way to explain 'around the data' during my defense as to why this should be included in the thesis since it isn't publishable.

Grrr.

So, I have three days total to 'make-up' a 4th aim, finish my manuscript figures, write figure legends, and finish my methods and results. My series of meetings with my committee members starts Tuesday afternoon and since my committee doesn't care about "aims" I'm only going to talk about my manuscript. But I need the fourth ready in case they want to know if there is 'anything else' besides the manuscript.

And I still need to figure out what the last component of the manuscript means. The data didn't turn as we expected. Which isn't a bad thing. Except now I have to explain it which I'm having trouble doing, and Kiwi doesn't know either. And since it's the last major part, I just know that's what the committee is going to question. When my dissertation became a 'cell biology' project it started being out of my element. I've never even had a cell biology class!!

Just too much

I haven't written in a long time. Really, the reason is that I'm just a bit too overloaded. When I think about writing my brain practically explodes from the things that are running through my mind. Just sooo much stuff to talk and think about. I'll just have to take it in small pieces. After a short crying spell last night I've calmed down and now I'm trying to take control of a situation that has fallen under the vices of others, namely my committee members.

I came back from Christmas break with optimism about what I had left to do. I had everything planned out, I even processed blood two times in preparation. Then everything changed after an email that Kiwi sent me out of the blue, it came after an email requesting a meeting. Here is the main excerpt:

"I cannot buy any more supplies for your studies, which are now not funded,
and the Center needs to stop funding your salary as they are overextended."

After that, all work essentially stopped. I panicked at first thinking that meant next month (Feb) but I found that "as soon as possible" meant April. But now after the past week, I'll be here through May, defending mid-May. That's it. No more. No options. I'm extremely
upset that I won't be done at the end of April because that means I'm just going to miss the graduation deadline.

There's a lot more to this story, which I probably talk about as I have to take breaks or vent in the next few months. But right now I'm a bit overwhelmed because I have to write an entire dissertation and manuscript in two months because of the demands of my committee.

I have so much running through my brain right now that I'm probably rambling, which is why I haven't posted. But maybe if I start typing again those thoughts will become a bit more ordered.

My laptop has a new soul

It's been so long since I've posted or read any one's blog I feel like I'm in withdrawal. It's funny, even though I don't really know anyone out in my blog world (at least, most of you) I still missed everyone!

My computer has been down for a while. And I'm not comfortable using the lab desktop to blog so I haven't done it lately. And as I mentioned before, I'm not good at writing once I get home. I'm not sure how to qualify what happened to it, it was in a coma then awoke for a few days, until I killed it. Now it has a new soul. Let me explain.

1. Coma (data still there, just not accessible) - motherboard needed to be replaced.
2. Revived, awoke from coma - motherboard replaced so it's a happy computer, for a few days.
3. Dead, I killed it (no longer registered hard drive) - It had the unfortunately luck of being on my lap when I got really pissed at someone. While it was running I slammed it shut, physically damaging the hard drive. I lost everything.
4. Receives a new soul - new hard drive installed, so it has the same body but all new insides.

It took a while for me to get everything reinstalled, and I still don't have everything I had before. At least I can start writing when I want to now. And I have so much to read! I have over 300 on my Reader since I've been gone a month. Ugh. Please be patient.

My laptop went into a coma

The past few weeks my laptop has been doing strange things. At random, it wouldn't detect the network or wireless card, it detected unknown new hardware, the USB drive worked only with a few things, and sometimes the power button had to be pushed two or three times before it would come on. All this happened randomly, sometimes together, sometimes alone, but it was always something.

The IT person here at the Center is fabulous. He actually is very knowledgeable and helpful, unlike most IT people I have experienced. I was hoping he could fix it but when we realized he couldn't (which was a couple weeks ago) we decided it was time for me to call Dell technical support because my laptop is under a full warranty. I could even drop it and they will replace it.

I have never had a problem with Dell support, I always got what I needed handled by the appropriate person. I've been procrastinating because I wasn't looking forward to going through all the steps in the support persons "script" because they "have to." (The quotes are from a support person I spoke to a few years ago.) I needed a block of time to deal with it at work (I wasn't wasting time at home, I'm usually too tired anyway) and that time was today. I checked my email this morning, walked away to set-up an experiment, and when I came back my computer was off. And wouldn't turn back on. Looking on the bright side, I thought "at least I won't be on with tech support for long, there is only so much to try when the computer won't even turn on." I should have known better. I really should have.

Here is an abbreviated version of what occurred.

Tech#1: Hello, this is tech support, may I have your service tag?"
Me: Don't you want the express service code?
Tech#1: No, I need your service tag.
Me: 12A34
Tech#1: Okay, you have a model A, correct?
Me: No, I have a model B.
Tech#1: Do you still own this computer?
Me: Yes, it's sitting right in front of me, that's why I'm calling. (Duh.)
Tech#1: Has it always been yours?
Me: Yes, why?
Tech#1: Well, according to our records, you have a model A, the ownership has been transferred to someone else, and the warranty is expired.
Me: No, it isn't.
Tech#1: What is your service tag again?

I repeat it, he still gets the same thing. We argue for a while, with me becoming progressively pissed, and him getting more rude. Finally . . .

Me: Well, your information is wrong.
Tech#1: Let me talk to my manager.

After several minutes . . . .

Tech#1: You need to talk to customer service.
Me: You're kidding me.
Tech#1: (in a snotty voice) No, you need to talk to customer service and verify that the computer belongs to you.
Me: (fuming) Can you transfer me?

Rude Tech#1 proceeds to transfer me and disconnects me in the process. I then go online using the work computer and get the customer service number. I call customer service which has an automated voice telling me there is a wait due to high call volume. In the meantime, I have to get work done so I put the call on speaker phone, I take my cells out of the fridge, then someone picks up. I flag down Ding to put my stuff back in the fridge for me. I immediately start loudly complaining to customer service (CS) about what Tech#1 told me then apologized for being rude to him, I know it wasn't his fault, but I'm pissed.

CS: Can I have your service tag please.?
Me: 12A34
CS: Can you tell me the model please?
Me: Model B.
CS: Ah, are you sure?
Me: Yes, I'm sure. (Of course I'm sure! It's sitting right here in front of me. If I get one more stupid question I'm going to scream!)
CS: That's not what I'm seeing in your account.

I then go into a tirade about how I'm looking at my Dell account online, on the Dell website, and it's telling me that it's the correct computer, it's mine, and the warranty is good until 2008. How can he possible be looking at something different! He then repeats the service tag, which is wrong. He types it in properly and all of my information comes up correctly. He is extremely amused that all the confusion was due to a phonetic misunderstand. Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! Rude, and now Stupid, Tech#1 got the service tag wrong three times. What a colossal waste of my time. CS now transfer me to tech support. Again, I am on hold, so I try to do work, take my cells out of the fridge, only to have someone answer the phone. This time I flag down Apple to put my cells back.

Tech#2: Can I have your express service code?
Me: Everyone else wanted the service tag.
Tech#2: No, I need your express service code please.

I give him the number and all of my account information appears correctly. The express service code is all numbers, unlike the service tag (where a letter caused all the confusion), but that shouldn't have mattered because I speak clearly.

Verdict - I need to get a new motherboard. Since the hard drive doesn't need to be replaced, just the motherboard, my computer is in a temporary coma. Not usable, but all the information in it is not lost, so it's not dead.

I complimented Kiwi

It happened before I knew what was coming out of my mouth. I couldn't stop it. I was getting off the elevator and he was getting on. He had black slacks, a red shirt, and a black and grey jacket. I was so stunned that he was wearing normal clothes I complimented him before I could stop myself. He looked almost as shocked as I was.